A person who see’s the world for what it really is, all the beauty and the ugly. Someone who knows life is only for the one who is not afraid to die and that joy is only for him who does not fear to be alone. These are the most amazing people you will ever meet and you will never, not even if you try, forget them.
I never feel as though I am forced to the sidelines at a party, but instead I sometimes choose to just sit and observe what is going on in my surroundings. I observe, take in, and process what is happening. It allows me to really see the actions of people and take it for what it is worth. You gain an appreciation of who people are and the way they act and can really distinguish between who is real and who is fake.
Some people mistake this as me not having a good time, that I don’t want to be there, when in fact I am really enjoying myself. People watching and observing their interactions is actually pretty fun to me and I am happy when I do it.
However, I do wish sometimes I could express myself more, and really let people what I think instead of just sitting back and observing all the time while expressing myself very little. If I could just write everyone a letter to express the way I feel, it would be much easier.
This has been brought to my attention, and I am working on vocalizing my feelings and emotions to people, especially the ones I love. They deserve to know how I really feel and what is going on inside my head and my heart.
“So, this is my life. And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I’m still trying to figure out how could that be.”
Charlie, The Perks of Being a Wallflower